like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
