Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
