it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
