I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
