You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
