Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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