I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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