like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
