hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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