YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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