white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
