I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
