Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I believe in your delicious
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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