I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Barsexuality is the new black.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
