you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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