just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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