Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
