You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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