You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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