do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
