Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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