she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
