please come you make the beer taste better
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
