yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
