people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
