The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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