I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Shame - the story of my life.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
