What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
