i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
