it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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