it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Still dying that you shit outside
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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