lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
