Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
