i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
