I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Barsexuality is the new black.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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