i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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