The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
