you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
