Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
