Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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