where am i from again
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
