we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
