That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The air was thick with penises
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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