After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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