Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
