That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
