you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
