She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
