is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm going to jail i love you
I think my vagina is haunted
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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