my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
